Parenting superpower series – loving limits
Limits are the gift of healthy boundaries
Give your child the gift of developing healthy boundaries by setting limits lovingly.
Validation of a child’s emotional world is crucial to raising a person who trusts their own instincts and is confident in their life decisions.
Johanna Berglein
Children who have to endure many physical violations of their boundaries, often to save their lives, can have a hard time understanding boundaries. When parents learn to tune in to their children and themselves first and then setting kind and loving limits, children experience a healthy way of boundaries.
Especially when parents understand that the emotions children have as a response to limits are not deviant but a normal release of the hurt they carry, parents learn to validate their child’s feelings and reality even in the face of limit setting. Validation of a child’s emotional world is crucial to raising a person who trusts their own instincts and is confident in their life decisions.
This tool of setting limits is also an amazing skill for anyone to have in order to advocate assertively and kindly in any environment. Parents and medical professionals can work together more effectively for the best of a child when they can communicate with each other on their positions in this manner. Learn this incredible life tool of setting boundaries with understanding, kindness, clarity, and an open ear.
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Listen Limit Listen
Listen:
- What is going on for your child? (unmet needs?)
- What is going on for ourselves? (am I tense?)
Limit
- Stay calm
- Come close and use your body to stop the behavior GENTLY
- Use a gentle, loving tone when stating the limit
- Make sure not to scare the child
Listen:
- Allow your child to express their hard feelings
- Offer love and safety
- This allows your child to process their hard feelings
- When your child is done, they will just move on
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